A Complicated Matrimonial Environment
Today’s social environment has lead to many divorced parents. You want them both at your wedding, certainly; but you don’t want there to be any unnecessary fireworks. This is a touchy area.
Following are several considerations you may want to think about as you go about planning a wedding where divorced parents may attend. Your state of mind, and etiquette, are both considerations you’ll need to know your way around.
Be On Your Best
Especially for brides, divorced parents can mess with your emotional stasis. A wedding is stressful even in ideal circumstances. The tactic you may want to consider here, in order to maximize proper etiquette, is controlling what you can before the event.
Book all vendors as far in advance as possible. Know where the wedding is going to be, who will officiate, what entertainment you’ll have, invitations, wardrobe styling, and other associated information. If you’re previously married yourself, and have children coming with an ex-spouse, you’ll definitely want to look your best.
You can check this site for some options when you’re ready for a mommy makeover. Such beatification is a great idea even if you’ve never had children; it can help you feel attractive and secure should divorced parents be among guests the day of the event. When you feel secure, you’ll act with a more level head.
Whether you’re the party who’s been involved in a previous divorce, or those among your guests are, provided your mind is at its clearest, potential drama will prove less impactful on the big day.
Give Warnings, And Facilitate An Inclusive Wedding Ceremony
Each parent should know their “ex” will be in attendance. They need to know far in advance. Initially at least one of the parties will likely have some significant recoil. But you’re their child, and they want to see you have a happy wedding day despite their differences.
A simple warning can help them prepare their own minds for the event, and far enough in advance, you may find a parent caustically opposed come around to being there for you on this most special day.
On that note, make inclusion of both parents part of your ceremony design. For example, maybe one or the other of your parents have a stylistic preference that approves of black bridesmaid dresses. You might incorporate that into the aesthetic of the wedding. They’ll be pleased, and you’ve only altered something relatively minor, and in an exciting way.
Multi-colored dresses can be an interesting idea as well, if either parent have different preferences in that specific area. When it comes to speeches, ensure both get time to say what’s on their heart. How would parents be traditionally included if divorce weren’t an issue? Find ways of incorporating such elements, but split between either parent.
Seating Considerations And Crowdsourced Funding
You probably shouldn’t seat your divorced parents together, but you don’t want one ahead of the other, either. Put them in the same row, on either side of the aisle—if that’s possible. If not, have them at far ends of the same aisle. A large enough wedding will have multiple tiers of seating.
Also, be sure to look into all the fine crowd-sourced options in terms of gift registries or honeymoon funding solutions. One silver-lining to the difficulty of divorce is that both parents may possibly, provided they’ve got the resources, contribute individually more than they would as a unit. Online crowd-share solutions make it possible for them to do so anonymously, but in a way you’ll still recognize.
Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst
Some things will go better than you imagine, some will go worse than you anticipated. It’s impossible to control everything; all you can really do is your best. Expect some things might not go how you intend, and prepare your mind to put these events in a sort of mental holding pattern until the honeymoon is over. The only thing you truly have control over is how you react; so figure out in advance what’s likely to impact you, and how to handle it.